All moms are different. There is no right or wrong type of parenting. Everyone is entitled to choose how they raise their children. I have compiled a list of eight different types of moms. Keep in mind, this is based on research I have done and people I have talked to, so if you do not think it is 100% accurate, I apologize. You may be able to relate one of these types or you may relate to more than one of them. No matter which one you are, you keep doing you, mama. Here we go!
#1 Helicopter Mom
A Helicopter mom is the one you see following her kid around and watching their every move to make sure they don’t do anything that could possibly hurt them. Not only is she following her child, but she is right there to sanitize their hands if they touch anything. The kids don’t get much alone time. If they have a “problem” with one of their friends, you immediately call the friends mom to fix the problem, instead of letting them try to fix the problem themselves. If someone tries to ask your child a question and you answer it before they can even comprehend the question. You have a nanny cam in your house to keep an eye on your children, but you don’t have a nanny.
#2 Crunchy Granola Mom
Everything you use in your house is organic and coconut oil can be used for just about anything. Your children only eat fresh, organic food, nothing is processed, including on the go snacks (props to you because that can be difficult). Cloth diapers and breastfeeding are best and you do so for as long as possible, which is not an easy feat. Spanking your kids is out of the question. A natural birth is preferred and you don’t believe in vaccinating your children. You do not own a TV and your children are not allowed to watch TV anywhere else.
#3 Perfect Mom (aka PTA Mom)
The PTA mom looks like she just stepped out of a magazine and her outfit and hair are always on point! Seriously, does nothing you own have a stain on it? You don’t have to worry about someone showing up unexpectedly because dirt is non-existent in your house and your car. All of your family pictures are basically perfect. You never miss a class party or school function, in fact, you may be the one organizing them! Your kids always have a healthy lunch and homemade dinner. You are pretty much immaculate….thanks a lot!
#4 Competitive Mom
Have you ever seen the show Dance Moms? If you have seen it, then you understand. If you have not seen it, then here is some examples for you. Your kid plays every sport they can spell and knows how to play more instruments than Paul McCartney. Not only can they do all of those things, they are the best and no one better argue otherwise. If Sally doesn’t get an “A” on a paper, it’s not her fault, the paper was a work of art. Comparing your kid to anyone else’s is a daily occurrence. You don’t push your kids too much, you are just making sure they succeed in life! Another mom says something positive about their child, you feel the need to make a positive comment about your child.
#5 Fitness Mom
You are fit AF and look amazing in everything. You make sure you and your family eats healthy and gets plenty of exercise. Speaking of exercise, you go to the gym….a lot. You update your fitness goals and progress on Instagram (and everyone is jealous!). You have a hundred different recipes for protein shakes and you use them! You could probably beat the crap out of any dad around and they know it too! You most likely look like you are ready to run a marathon at any given moment.
#6 Hipster Mom
Your four-year old knows what a vinyl record is, probably because you own and still use record players. Your home, clothes, decor, and kids toys are nostalgic. Your kids wear skinny jeans, whether you have boys or girls. The camera you use is not the one on your phone and may very well be a Polaroid camera. You are the mom with the cool tattoos, dyed hair, big round sunglasses, high wasted jeans, and rock a fanny pack. Like some other types of moms, you also prefer extended breastfeeding and cloth diapers. Your kids are probably more cultured than I am.
#7 Free Range Mom
You are the mom who encourages your kids to function independently with little supervision. Your kids will figure out a lot of things on their own and sometimes the hard way. They are allowed to walk through your neighborhood or even down to the gas station or grocery store by themselves (depending on their age, of course).
#8 Hot Mess Mom
This is me, the Hot Mess mom. You sometimes can’t remember if you showered today, but can usually find out pretty quickly. Your wardrobe consists of yoga pants and t-shirts, though you don’t actually do yoga. Your idea of working out is chasing your toddler around and trying to get your phone back. Wearing a bra in the house is optional. There is a stain on your shirt, which is not unusual, but you don’t know when or how it got there, also not unusual. Your social life consists of going to Target and talking to the cashier. Baby wipes are used for everything. Your kids get too much screen time and you know all the songs in the Disney movies. You sometimes ask yourself, “is noon too early for a glass of wine?”
No matter what type of mom you are or type of parenting you choose, be nice and don’t judge the moms that don’t have their shit together, like me!
What type of mom are you?